To be or not to be .. someone

Okay, Holy Spirit, I’m showing up with the desire to reveal my heart to you again. I’m feeling frustrated now, and I need to get a few things off my chest.

Ahh.. my favorite time to be of service. (smile) You know I’m always here for you and I appreciate your willingness to come to me. I can feel your frustration, please share.

Well, I guess its about judgment. Okay, when is it not about judgment? I can at least recognize that now. Nonetheless, this current state of judgment is about me in the role of Teacher of God. Sure, first I found a whole lot of ways to attempt and project this judgment onto other people. My mind is skilled at making up stories about other people doing this or that. I'm very appreciative how I'm able to see through this distraction more easily lately. But nonetheless, the bottom line is that all my frustrations are always about me. Right?

Yes. Any investment in frustration stems from your own confusion. However, it’s not a personal thing. The thoughts you have do not come from your individualized personality or embodiment. The body you equate yourself with is merely just another tool of the ego and mistaken identity. The identity is not you. However it does use a sense of "you" to justify its own state of confusion. I make this point because its pretty fruitless to get so down on yourself as being the cause of the issue. You are not the cause as much as you think. Yet your identity does provide an outlet for the cause to be expressed.

Uhm.. uh.. okay. I think you lost me for a bit in metaphysical rhetoric. (smile)

It’s okay, you get it more than you think. Please continue with your venting.

Yeah.. okay, so… here’s the deal. I’m frustrated with myself because I don’t feel like I’m good enough to be one of Your Teachers.

Ahh. I like how you decided to capitalize “Your Teachers” as if I am someone special.

You’re not??

I am more than what the images in your mind make me to be. However, if it is a belief in specialness that you want to see, most likely you will feel much more unworthy than you need to feel.

Why?

Well, first of all, if you make me special, you are setting me apart from others. You are investing in a split. Secondly, if you seek to place me apart from others, you are most likely also seeking to place my teachers apart from others. No wonder you feel so pressured and frustrated!

Specialness is always about separation, its very existence is dependent upon separation. Yet, I am never in a state of separation. I am never only “part” of the whole. I am always the whole. I am Holiness along with You. I am Holiness along with All. There is no lesser or greater degree of me (please keep the “me” lower-case as you type). Believe it or not, you use me to make yourself feel little. This is the same as making me into an idol.

How do I do that?

As long as you invest in an image, you invest in a belief in separation. This belief will have you projecting separation onto many other images as well. Soon there will be "gurus" and special teachers. Soon there will be people who can teach "right or wrong." There will be times where I will make you happy with yourself and times where I (or my so-called teachers) will disappoint you. Hear me well, I am not separate from you, nor am I separate from anyone. There is not a separation between us. You are just as worthy to be a teacher of me as anyone else who appears to walk the earth. My teachers are not special, they are merely equated with their selflessness.

What?

You cannot be wholly equated with the Self if you seek to still be a self.

Wha.. I …

Listen. The magnitude that you think I am is no more or less than you. However, as long as you see yourself as separate, you will choose to be a separate identity and wish only to prolong this identity through a myriad of roles. The role of “Teacher of God” has been often mistaken as a role of specialness. Yet, you cannot be special and still speak to your brothers as if you were whole. A Teacher of God is one who seeks in form to connect with his or her brothers beyond form. It is one who seeks to heal, rather than give continuance to all the wayward imaginings of the world. The genuine Teacher of God, sees his Self as the student. He or she sees him or herself as the one whom is listening. You are not there to integrate with anyone other than your own Self-realization. Specialness is separation, wholeness is wholeness. You cannot have your cake and eat it too, unless you have two cakes. Get it?

I think so.

Let it sink in a bit. Go back and read again what I am saying. Essentially, all I am saying is that the experience of “Teacher of God” is not a role you are playing, it is simply a witnessing for Truth. The confusion erupts when you see yourself as playing a role. Roles have responsibilities. Responsibilities have requirements. Requirements have limitations and needs. The wholeness of Truth can never be limited or in need. Therefore, I cannot ask for a role of limitation or need to be played in my name. That would be contradictory.

Remember that I have told you before how you need not “be weird” in order to be a “Teacher of God.” Likewise, you need not be “spiritual” or “enlightened.” You need not be anything other than the Holiness that God Created and this is not rooted within any identity or personalized characteristic. Yes, you can eat chicken wings with sloppy slurpy fingers, drink beer, laugh hysterically, snort, belch and still be a Teacher of God.

HAHAHAHA! You’re great. I really love your sense of humor. It always helps me keep things in perspective.

You're welcome. And by the way, keeping things in perspective will always help you. However, don’t make it your own limited perspective. Seek my perspective, which is always one of freedom, love and magnitude. Here you will supersede any form of judgment, because judgment only comes from a mind rooted in limitation.

I guess that part of my problem is that I don’t feel worthy to be a Teacher of God.

This is simply because you are making a “Teacher of God” into a role to play. You are making the role special. You are placing it apart from other roles that you can play. You are making these roles lesser and Teacher of God greater. Again, Teacher of God is not a role you are playing. Teacher of God is not an "I-dentity". A Teacher of God is simply someone who seems to choose to see beyond his or her current limitations and witness this Truth with Love to all they encounter. This witnessing is a convenient way to experience Who You Are. It is you reminding yourself that You are. You are not playing or practicing "Teacher of God" for anyone other than your own mind who is seeking to remember. I do not mean this as a colloquialism or platitude. I mean this exactly as I say it. Believe it or not, the others that you encounter in the role of teacher are teaching you more than you know. You teach what you need to learn. There is always more than one person teaching in every teaching scenario. You only mirror for eachother. Being a Teacher of God is a convenient and complimentary step along the path to your own awakening, but it is no different than any other experience within the world. Each encounter is a holy encounter and there are no lesser or greater holy encounters. Use each moment that you walk this earth as you wish, but see how you are so much more than these temporal conditions or wishes.

But what if I don’t feel good enough within myself to be a Teacher of God?

This is only because you are not seeing yourself. You are making yourself into someone who has to do some task in order to live up to a role or expectation. However, Beloved One, who is the One who is doing the teaching?

I.. uh… am? Okay.. I get what you are saying. I’m not doing the teaching. You are doing the teaching. Right? The wisdom is not coming from me, as in my persona.

Right. As long as you see yourself as doing teaching or being spiritual, you are placing yourself within a realm of limitation and requirement. As long as you can “be a teacher” there will also be times when you are unworthy or unable to “be a teacher.” It is the same with practicing spirituality. As long as you see yourself as being spiritual, there will be times when you do not feel worthy or skilled enough to be spiritual. Truth is not about skills, and all are always worthy of Being the simple Truth which God is all ways and always. You are not here to play a role or be a teacher. You are here simply to remember the Truth of Who You Are as God Created. Only the ego wants to make a role to play, because on it is seeking to hide in identities.

Listen Beloved. You are always worthy to be a Teacher of God, because being this is merely being the Wholeness of your Self. Do not equate this experience with roles or responsibilities and you will no longer limit yourself or seek to place yourself in requirement. Also, you will no longer seek to “be someone” or be “seen as someone.” The Holiness you are seeks not to be seen as anyone. This Self has no one to impress, nor anyone to entice. Likewise, this Self, cannot be vilified or vindicated. You cannot be praised or dejected. You cannot be loved more or loved less. Seek only to seek miracles for yourself, awaken to your Self and live in constant appreciation for being this Truth and you will never have anything to fear. Nothing can be required of you nor taken away from you… that is unless you are doing the teaching.

So you are saying that if I do not build myself up, I cannot be broken down?

Yes, but more than that. I am also saying that you should pay attention to how you seek to build yourself up and why you desire to build yourself up. What are you seeking to complement? What are you seeking to mend? Who are you seeking to be? Truth cannot be built up or broken down. Truth cannot be anything other than Truth.

Truth does not seek to be anyone other than Truth. Truth recognizes that there is nothing else to be other than Truth. Truth is not a special role, nor is it a special relationship. Again, Truth has no need or requirement. Truth can be perfect just as it is because it is perfection itself. Trust in this and you will always recognize exactly Who You Are in every moment.

The next time you find yourself within a teaching opportunity it would be helpful to ask “why am I here?” Do not assume that you are there to teach anyone or find anything. Do not assume that there is any requirement for you being there other than merely being a witness to the Love You Are. Don’t show up with an agenda and there will be nothing to live up to or prove. There will be no “good enough” to be. Relax. Trust. Let go of any need other than simply and quietly being in the moment. I will always guide you perfectly. Trust this, because I’m not depending on you as much as you think. (smile)

Also, do you see the contradiction of seeking “not to be special?” Who is being or not being special? Who is being anything? If you are not being a role it is the same as being a role. It is the same. As long as you are seeking to be or not to be, you are not simply being. Get it?

Hmm.. wow. Didn’t really think of it that way.

This is because you think in terms of duality. Only the mind believes in opposites and aversions. These states of being require a belief in separation and judgment. Do you see? As long as you are saying that “I am this” or “I am not this” it is the same as saying I am not as God Created me.

This is deeper than I think my mind can get a handle on.

Good. Your mind has no place in this conversation. (smile)

Okay. However… I…

Listen. Your mind (I) has no place in this conversation.

Harsh.

Realize that this is not a judgment or a correction. This is merely a witness to the state of being which most distracts you. As long as you are trying to “be this” or “not be that” you are still wrapping yourself up in roles, requirements and a repertoire that does not speak solely for Truth. Again, this is not a judgment or condemnation. It is merely an observation for you to look at. Remember, there is no judgment possible and you can never truly be anyone other than your True Self. Seek not to try so hard, your thoughts or behaviors are not leading your way out of this dream. Yet, learning to let go of your thoughts and your behaviors will bring a deeper peace to the mind that does struggle with itself. And yes, you do only struggle with yourself.

Take a moment and let this sink in. Always remember that I do love you and know you in Truth. Yes, you are always worthy to be a Teacher of God, for this is simply being your Self. That is all. Truly, that IS All.

I Love you.