Sitting here now I can visualize my little girl fantasy of being swept off my feet by Prince Charming. He would notice my natural beauty from afar and we would passionately fall into one another’s arms as star-crossed lovers. Fervently, declaring to the world his love for me, perhaps in a poem or some offer of flowers and a shiny jewel, he would carry me off on a white steed only to live happily ever after. That is of course until he tried to leave his dirty socks on the living room couch or forgot to put the toilet seat back down. But Prince Charming does not perform such acts of sin? Or does he? How could the promise of true love be true if it was vulnerable to such human failings? Soon, in my study of A Course in Miracles, I found myself lured by the promise of the Holy Relationship. Was this yet again another tale of knights and princes? Was a Holy Relationship vulnerable to human flaws? If I found it would I finally be happy? This and many other questions led me deep within to find the meaning of the Holy Relationship and how to find it as my rescue from kissing the symbolic frogs of the world.
One day in my Simply Being journaling, I found myself desperately asking Holy Spirit why my Prince had not come and how I could quickly enter into Holy Relationship with “The One.” I still remember my jaw-dropping surprise when Holy Spirit suggested that I don’t pay as much attention to who was sleeping in my bed and focus instead on who I was welcoming into the bed of my mind. “What?” I declared with much resistance. I even tried some arguments from A Course in Miracles. “Are we not supposed to “enter the ark two by two??” Note to self; do not try to use the Holy Spirit’s words against Him. It will never work. No, once again, He informed me how the Holy Relationship is not as much about two people in romantic relationship as it is truly about any relationship acted out with any or all of our Brothers both in thought as well as deed. Therefore, “seek instead to have a Holy relationship with the world. Seek to see what thoughts you plant in your garden about your Brothers. Choose instead to grow flowers and not weeds.” Sigh. Sounds like a great suggestion, right? But if I was having enough difficulty getting my act together for one Prince Charming, and not find him at my door, how was I to practice this Holy Relationship with every person in the world??! Worse yet, how was I supposed to practice a Holy Relationship with my thoughts?? Trust me, it felt completely overwhelming and close to impossible. That is until I realized (with Holy Spirit’s help) that what we do for “The One” is really only a reflection of what we do for our One Self.
Every thought, deed and relationship is a mere reflection of all that we believe within our own mind about our identity. All experience both within our mind and played out by our bodies is only a mere definition of the meaning we adhere. These meanings are illusively divided into a myriad of complex images, faces or personalities, but the Truth remains simple as ever. Therefore, if we are to have a Holy Relationship with the world, all it would take is beginning the healing process from within our own root cause and not the effect. Choose for an experience of the Holy Instant in all images and choose to have a Holy Relationship with all. The Love that we intend for ourselves, and hope to share with our Brother, always begins by living in the Holy Instant. Below, I have outlined the five simple steps to achieving the Holy Relationship as guided through A Course in Miracles. With each of these steps, all that we do is reaffirm the abundance of grandeur that exists within our One Self and ask to make it manifest throughout every image. Here we are not only finding our Prince Charming within our God Self, but we come to notice how the wait for him or her was never necessary from the start. God Created His Holiness complete, and this completion was never dependent upon fairy tales. Therefore, as you step forth to establish your Holy Relationship with the world, seek only to know yourself beyond the stories within your own ego identified mind. Recognize that the Holiness you seek can be equally expressed in your relationship with a lifelong romantic partner as well as the cashier at your local convenience market and the insidious voice of judgment within your own thinking mind. Overall, it all comes down to this: What I choose to reaffirm within, I choose to express through the dream. Here is to your knowing your Self as God Created!
1. Set your intention. Become aware of what you want. Jeshua tells us in the Course that he is the manifestation of the Holy Spirit and so when we see him it is because we have invited Him. To “see Jeshua” is a symbolic affirmation of the Vision we choose within any perceived other person. Therefore the first step of any holy encounter is to still the mind and send the invitation. Consider this as if you were choosing to hold a party and only wanted certain guests to arrive. You would send the invitation to the guest whom you most desired to come. If in any moment we are asking for ego’s guidance, we send ego the invitation by centering our mind on all thoughts of limitation and loss. But instead, if we desired Holy Spirit’s attendance, we send an invitation to Him by centering our awareness on Him through focusing on love, peace and surrender. In this intention, we ask Holy Spirit to see for us and He willingly joins us in celebration of the Holy Instant.
2. Upon encountering another person, choose to look within and see no lack. Here we seek to see no want or expectation directed towards yourself or any other person. This is the affirmation of completion both within you and likewise revealed within your Brother. A healed mind cannot perceive lack (in fact it cannot perceive at all). We do not seek to take from another nor project the ego’s story of lack upon them, but instead in the Holy Relationship we seek only to give in an affirmation of Love. Here “Just under Heaven [do we] stand, but close enough not to return to earth. For this relationship has Heaven's holiness.”(T.22.IN.3.2) Therefore, as you enter into the recognition of your True Desire, allow your mind to wholly notice where you still may be valuing lack or expectations. Notice what stories your thinking mind wishes to tell you in relation to the circumstance or other person. As soon as you can, cut down these stories at their root and offer them upon the altar of God for healing. He responds with Holiness the moment we remove the obstacle to Love’s awareness.
3. Continue to accept your completion with gratitude. Just as intention to welcome Holy Spirit within the instant opens the door, gratitude keeps it open. Extension of the Holy Relationship (as well as any extension of Truth) can ONLY occur through conscious acceptance (gratitude). Gratefulness is not intended to be the groveling of appreciation and is not truly helpful if we engage in it because we fear loss. Genuine gratitude is an affirmation of receiving. I notice how my True Self is Holiness and so in affirming this Holiness I gratefully acknowledge it through my extended it to others. Here the gift of Holiness is multiplied through its sharing. You cannot be thankful for what you do not know you have. Therefore, as we seek to experience the Holy Relationship, we first must affirm the wholeness existing within us and be fully accepting of its genuine value. Next, we choose to allow a sense of gratitude to emerge from the desire to see this Holiness already existing in every relationship. By consciously choosing to be more grateful, every relationship (even brief ones) becomes a true reflection of the holiness of God in us.
4. See no difference between you and the other. It is essential to note that the differences you see in physical traits or personality are not the main subject to be released. To ask to be blind to these differences may be straining upon your consciousness. Holy Spirit is never asking us to struggle for peace. In fact, it is outright impossible to gain peace through great effort. Holy Spirit’s guidance to me has always simply been: “release for peace.” Therefore, it is better to direct your awareness beyond the surface differences and attend more deeply to seeking the connection within you both and beyond the traits of individuality. Try not to struggle with your thinking mind. Of course you will see many differences in physicality and personality. The existence of these stories does not represent how “good” or “successful” you are as a spiritual student. As long as you still perceive with the body’s senses and see yourself as existing within the world, you will in addition have these stories. Remember, right now, in this world, these stories are speaking your language. This is why we hear them so clearly, even seemingly over the Voice of God. However, Holy Spirit also speaks our language and can use every symbol to which we cling as a potential key to remembering the falseness of our perceived prison. Any moment that you notice yourself seeking to value a difference, error and/or separation device, call your attention back to your heart’s desire (healing / knowing your Self as God Created). Yes, you may have to do this a few times (a minute) but all is perfect as the willingness for your True desire remains within your awareness. Try not to guilt yourself if you fall back into the usual judgments. This is normal and in no way a measure of your True Worth. Holy Spirit will never see you as a “bad spiritual student.” His love and clear Vision is beyond all of these opinions. Therefore do not allow the recognition of these stories to deflate your intention. Simply catch yourself if you are making an effort and give the activities of your mind over to Holy Spirit.
To enter the stream of constant willingness for release is allowing Holy Spirit to transform every symbol of separation into a teaching device. Personally, I’ve visualized myself dancing around my home collecting objects for donation. As I see myself packing every object in the box, not only do I verify my release from attachment but also I dance in gratitude for the abundance I am affirming through my willingness to release. “Here Holy Spirit, take this too!” then becomes my mantra of pure gratitude.
5. Repeat: Approximately fifty years ago, when shampoo manufacturers were seeking of another way to help their customers use and value more of the product, this one word printed on every shampoo bottle was considered nothing short of genius. In essence the customer did not need to repeat washing his or her hair. The cleaning was already completed with the initial intention. However, to instruct the customer to repeat the wash the importance of every prior step was emphasized. Consequently, I will state the same direction here, for the very same rationale. As we choose to repeat our intention, the choice to see no lack, the offering of gratitude and finally the releasing of all differences, we once again affirm our original choice for Holiness beyond illusion. In this moment our relationships move from a suffocating experience to an open air exchange of Love. The literal translation of the word “repeat” is to “seek again.” Therefore, as we ask ourselves to remember the Holy Relationship beyond our own limited wishes for special ones, we once again seek for the Truth and find it exactly where God Himself placed it.
Overall the Holy Relationship offers us joy, completion, understanding, awareness, acceptance, and the certainty of Truth beyond our perceived obstacles to peace. It is not a fairy tale of the longing mind seeking its own completion through one another. The Holy Relationship is a simple affirmation of all that we as the Holiness of God already own. Seek not to hesitantly kiss one more frog desperately hoping to find a Prince within! Choose instead to find the Prince of Peace within your own Holiness and see his perfection within every moment. In doing so we enter into the ark accompanied by genuine peace beyond any frog-like image the ego projects forth in its mistaken identity of delusions. Your inner Prince of Peace is available to you at every moment through the Holy Relationship. The call for love is extended in our choice to move from the form of separation to the welcoming of the Truth of Who We Are and in this acceptance, we only know happy endings.
Pamela B. Silberman is the author of Simply Being: One Year with Spirit, published by O-Books and currently available from your favorite online or independent bookseller. She also serves as the executive director of the Be The Love foundation (www.bethelove.us), a not for profit organization dedicated to the practical application of A Course in Miracles. Her web site is www.simplybeing.net
Saturday, September 27, 2008
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