Trashing in 2007

Sitting in silence this morning, I began to make my annual list of all the things I’d like to trash / let go of as I move into the new year. For a new twist, Holy Spirit insisted on having His say(smile), which made this experience definitely a bit more introspective.

It began as I snuggled quietly in my bed. Journal in hand, I searched within to begin making my list. My mental intent was to seek out which aspects of myself that did not reflect peace. All aspects that do not reflect peace, I believe, must be an obstacle to love’s awareness. Therefore, as I intend to know love and truth more deeply in my life, I asked within for the discovery of which unpleasant aspects I value. As the saying goes, “ask and you shall receive.” Soon, I found Holy Spirit speaking up, so I allowed myself to listen. As usual, He does know best.

Here is my list of all I choose to let go:

1. Unwillingness to receive: When I am unwilling to receive anything, I am judging. I am using the judgment to justify not only that there can be something more powerful than God, but also that I am vulnerable or able to be hurt/wrong, etc. This is impossible. God is whole and cannot be harmed, limited, or wrong. In knowing this I know that everything is a blessing. Everything!! Therefore, if I refuse to receive, I am refusing to accept God.

2. Fear: Fear is False EXISTENCE Appearing Real. If I am to fear anything, I am aligning myself with false existence. God's Beingness has nothing to fear, for He is never in false existence. God's Beingness is always and ALL ways True. In my guidance to let go of fear, I am asking to let go of all ways that I keep myself in false existence. For instance, I have had an ongoing fear of using spirituality for an ego means. I've called this belief before the "prostituting of spirit," and all it really represents is my belief that Spirit can be misused. Spirit cannot be misused. If Spirit could be misused, that would mean that Spirit would be vulnerable. Spirit, being the same wholeness that God is, is never vulnerable or able to be manipulated or affected by anything. It only is Love and always will be Love. As I choose to open myself up beyond fear, I am choosing to recognize that I am never vulnerable because I am God's Holiness expressed.

3. Refusing my self / Self: Similar to both of the above, anything that I see as limited I see in confusion. If I am to refuse my self (body / personality) and hold this self in judgment I am making it real. Seeing anything in judgment is a mistaken awareness and only holds us apart from seeing the reality. Therefore, if I refuse my self in any way, I am making this self real (and more real than God's Self). God's Self is unlimited and never holds its Self back. God's Self is always expressing and is always saying "Yes" to itself. God's Self is constantly giving itself everything in freedom and love and there is no ceasing to this flow. Therefore, if I am to see myself in Truth, I must see myself as a part of this flow of completion, refusing nothing. Here I ask to expand myself to align with my Self. Rather than disown, hate or limit myself, instead, I ask God to use this self (body/personality) as an expression of the One Self. This way, I cannot hate, judge or close it down, but instead I let every experience I have to be one of wholeness coming through it as an awareness of remembering God.

4. Defining my self in comparison or dependency / Jealousy: It is impossible to be jealous unless I FIRST see myself as limited and dependent. I cannot idolize or covet anything my brother has unless I see myself as not having it. Therefore, I have to not only see myself as separate from my brother, but also limited from God's Creation. Then, I'll come up with some justification that I need or am dependent on something outside myself for completion, and then I see my brother as having it or having more completion than me. This is impossible. I cannot have anything different than my Brother, because in my completion I am PERFECT with my Brother. As I choose to see this, I choose to know I am complete. In my awareness of completion, I cannot be jealous.. it is also impossible.

5. Seeing myself in separation: In releasing this, I recognize that I am never alone or separated from God. Never.

6. Judgment: ONLY the ego can judge. Only the ego can justify judgment. Only the ego supports these justifications with my judgments.

7. Resistance: In order for me to be resistant against something, I FIRST have to see it as apart from me. For instance, if I choose to be resistant to Holy Spirit's suggestions, or God's Beingness, then I am FIRST saying that God's Beingness (and Holy Spirit's witness) is not me. In my resistance, I see myself as being separate from God and am judging with fear anything He offers me. Again, fear is False Existence Appearing Real, so if I am fearing God's Beingness, I am choosing instead to value an illusion of a separated self and denying my Truth.